“The Allegheny Spider” – An X-Files episode

river

Photo by Andrew Bertram on Unsplash

This episode is intended to be a monster-of-the-week stand alone for season 11.


COLD OPEN

INT. The DINING AREA of an upscale, tiny, inn-style Bed & Breakfast [INN]. Three of the five tables are occupied. Young newlyweds, YNW1 and YNW2 sit on the same side of one finishing their dessert. A man [PETE] making notes and reading while he eats sits at another. The third has a woman [JEANETTE, 30s, WHITE WOMAN] and man [NATHAN, 40s, WHITE MAN] sitting opposite each other on an obviously uncomfortable date.

 

NATHAN

I can’t understand why you’d take her side here.

 

JEANETTE

I’m not taking anyone’s side, I just think it’s kind of unfair-

 

NATHAN

Sure. She gets all the raises and promotions but I’m the one being unfair.

 

JEANETTE

But you said she laid a lot of the groundwork with the client that-

 

NATHAN

Groundwork isn’t closing, and closing is all that matters.

 

JEANETTE

Look, let’s just drop it. I don’t even know your boss, not like I can really weigh in on the office politics of it all without-

 

NATHAN

You don’t have to know her to believe me when I tell you she slept her way up. How else can you even explain it?

 

JEANETTE

I don’t know. Maybe the board preferred her management style.

 

NATHAN

And maybe you don’t know how the world works, sweet thing.

 

JEANETTE

I know this date is over.

 

JEANETTE backs up her chair and rises to leave.

 

NATHAN

And I know you’re at least twenty pounds heavier than your profile picture.

 

JEANETTE dumps a tumbler of water in his lap and walks through the MAIN ROOM and out. NATHAN storms past the lady innkeeper, [THERESA, 60s, BLACK WOMAN] and her large pet IGUANA and heads upstairs. The camera sweeps around the rest of the ground floor of the small inn filled with objects of distinction and the occasional exotic animal, some alive, some skeletal or taxidermied. A growled shout is heard from upstairs.

 

NATHAN

(offscreen, presumably leaning half out of the bathroom door)

And now, for a wonderful end to my evening, there’s NO HOT WATER! This place is a dump.

 

The door slams and plaster dust sprinkles down onto THERESA’s head. She stands with a less than tolerant smile and buckles a toolbelt she’s taken from inside her desk around her waist. She dons a headlamp flashlight and opens the door leading down into the basement. The camera follows her down to a cobwebby and terrifying old space containing an ancient looking boiler where she starts banging on pipes and turning valves, seemingly at random. A low chittering/scratching [SPIDER NOISE] starts and gets louder as the camera rises through the floors past PETE still working in the DINING AREA, past YNW1 and YNW2 making out in front of the fireplace in their room and up into NATHAN’s room just in time to see NATHAN yanked out through the window by a menacing shadow. He barely has time for a short scream.

 

CUT TO BLACK


 

MAIN TITLES

Continue reading

Wednesday Check-In: At least there’s Jensen Ackles

I never have enough time. Ever since my grandmother patiently explained to a very young little me that there is never a good reason for an imaginative person to allow themselves to be bored I’ve been keeping myself all sorts of busy. Sometimes, back in my pre-parent days, even busy doing nothing. But as of late I feel like themay17 race begins when I wake up five minutes before my alarm and ends when I lay down having only accomplished three quarters of my to-do list. On my good days! My small, super dependent roommates have been sick on and off this week and making me beautiful art.

 

I’ve been reading A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. I’m only about a quarter in, but it is mesmerizing, terrifying, shocking, and revelatory so far. I highly may17brecommend educating yourself with this fine book. I don’t read that much non-fiction for fun, so an interesting experience to say the least. We started watching American Gods, of course, and it is amazing (my review). I would take any job Bryan Fuller wanted to give me. How does one apply to be an apprentice to a TV God? Hubs and I watched American Honey a few weeks ago and scenes and moments from it are still replaying in my head. It was engaging while we watched but I did not expect to still be thinking back on the film. Beautifully shot too. Also reading Bared To You, by Sylvia Day. That’s going about how you’d expect 😛

Maximus remains a doggie challenge, though I did get him to come to me for a treat when he got out of the yard a few days ago. Progress of a sort, I suppose.

I almost forgot! With all the stress and uncertainty in our world right now I wanted to recommend watching all the back seasons of Supernatural. For some reason, I find watching Sam and Dean Winchester driving around together and stabbing bad guys oddly therapeutic. Maybe you will too. All previous 1 million seasons are on Netflix for your tuning-out-your-brain needs.

may17e

WIP is still Tinseltown Temptress #3 – Screwed Over. I’m loving this one the most of any of the books. So much touching back on various characters it’s like old home week every day on my keyboard. Cassie is … changing. Evolving, I guess, but it sounds pretentious. She is learning to prioritize.

Both my released books continue to get great reviews on Amazon. Book 1, Screw Up, is still at 99 cents and Book 2 remains on KU for a limited time😀 Click here to sign up for my newsletter if you want insider info and offers.

The sun is actually shining today, though it is still cold and VERY windy. Hope you’re on a warm, sunny beach right now. What are you reading?

Still unsure about watching Bryan Fuller’s American Gods? These three giant spoilers from episode one will help you decide.

 

american gods

click embedded links to see (NSFW) gifs of that scene on the gif creator’s sites

I’ve heard a few people say they’re on the fence about watching Bryan Fuller’s new tv adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s novel American Gods, brought to us lucky mortals by Starz. The aim of my words here are to push you one way or the other. Warning: there will be blood (not actual blood, only really, really bloody SPOILERS, but still).

Many fans of the book are afraid to watch, worried that the adaptation can’t possibly live up to the source. ‘They’ll cut the wrong stuff and they won’t get the characters right, not the way they are in my head.’ Episode one down, and I’m here to tell you; it’s going to satisfy you. Obviously not every word and deed can be included but it seems a pretty solid match so far. Toward the end there’s an epic bar brawl between our hero Shadow (Ricky Whittle) and Mad Sweeny (Pablo Schreiber) where they decimate each other and destroy part of a gator-mouth-dominated bar. Look no further than Mr. Wednesday (expertly played by Ian McShane) casually enjoying their violence to perfectly exemplify the role in which he was cast. The performances throughout were nuanced, deep, and thoughtful. Whittle’s physical performance gives the audience incredible glimpses of Shadow’s inner struggle often without words, or even concrete action.

Another cause for hesitation is the fear that this show, like many other MA rated, high-end cable productions, will use rape to convey horror, character motivation, or heighten the suspense of the male protagonist’s storyline. Fuller don’t play that. He is against using rape scenes just to add drama, saying, “My role, as a showrunner, is to want to watch the show we’re creating. And if something feels exploitative or unnecessary, I’ll try to avoid it.” That being said, smack dab in episode one, a man just re-entering the dating scene (Joel Murray) agrees to have sex with Bilquis (Yetide Badaki) and does gets sucked into her vag, happily consumed whole. I think most of us would qualify that as a violent sex act, so perhaps Fuller intends to stick with the story as written on this subject.

Then there’s the old, ‘it looks too violent. Isn’t it going to be gory?’ dilemma. It is. One of the Gods’ coming to America origin tale is told here in the first episode. Vikings land on a shoreline and must plead with the Allfather to make wind for them to sail home. They end up fighting each other to please him (war God, don’t you know) and the resulting battle is absolutely horrific. A man’s arm is severed while holding a sword and flies through the air to land stabbed directly through his pal’s exposed throat. Truly fantastic pacing, cinematography, and effects during this scene, but if action/horror is not your thing, you might need a blanket to shield your eyes as needed.

More obstacles: ‘But I don’t have/can’t afford Starz.’ The app is just $9 a month. Wait a few weeks and it’ll only be a bit over $1 per episode. Well worth it. ‘I haven’t read the book yet!’ Go to the library. The novel by Neil Gaiman is wonderful and I highly recommend it.

With no other issues to address, I think it’s clear that American Gods should be your new favorite show. Now let the wait for next week’s episode begin.

Free Book Days Ahead

TwoBooks042717.jpg

Next week Tuesday & Wednesday (5/2 & 5/3) Screwing Around, book 2 in my Tinseltown Temptress series, will be free on Amazon. Book 1, Screw Up, is not currently available for such a giveaway but it is only 99 cents on Amazon (FREE on Smashwords!), a great price for feature length erotic romance. Get them both and laugh and cry along with Cassie as she prowls the Hollywood beat for TFP.mag. The last of the series, Book 3 is coming along nicely and will be out near the end of 2017. Need a new romance?

READER QUESTIONS #2 | Well, one is really more of a statement but that’s cool.

 

sweethearts-rawscan

That bouncy ball with the side eye though. (The Sweethearts, by Vilhelm Pedersen)

My ask is open (anon or not) over on tumblr and I receive a bunch of reader questions. Here are some answers.

 

What’s the best thing about writing erotica?

Great question. Thanks anon!

That moment right before they get into it physically. For me, there’s just something about that lead up to sexual activity that makes my fingers fly over the keyboard. I write pretty slowly, so whenever I get in a super productive zone I’m always relieved. It’s the best writing fun in the world for me. Those scenes are where that happens, so I am always looking for excuses to dive right into the sexual tension of it all. Pure selfishness.

I’ll also answer the flip side, the worst part of writing erotica for me is when people assume that my characters are all somehow an extension of myself. Awkward. I get that it’s an aspect of auteur theory, I just wish it wasn’t being applied to me in this particular instance. To my face. With detailed questions. Yuck.

If you could cast anyone as the celebs in your books who would you cast?

Thanks for your question, anon.

This is an extensive list and I’d rather leave them up to your imagination. More interesting, perhaps, is whether they should be cast with actors playing caricatured versions of themselves, or if the actor characters should be portrayed as fully fictitious. The casting director would have to find a brave group of guys if they were going with the first option. If your imagination is faulty, you can always check out the guys at mycelebrityfantasy.tumblr.com. I do.

You should post more Rihanna.

Will do.

I have quite a backlog of questions due to my laziness business so I’m going to try and get through them, three at a time. If you’d like to chat drop by my ask box on your preferred social media type. I’ll do my best to get them all answered eventually. Thanks for reading.