“The Allegheny Spider” – An X-Files episode

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Photo by Andrew Bertram on Unsplash

This episode is intended to be a monster-of-the-week stand alone for season 11.


COLD OPEN

INT. The DINING AREA of an upscale, tiny, inn-style Bed & Breakfast [INN]. Three of the five tables are occupied. Young newlyweds, YNW1 and YNW2 sit on the same side of one finishing their dessert. A man [PETE] making notes and reading while he eats sits at another. The third has a woman [JEANETTE, 30s, WHITE WOMAN] and man [NATHAN, 40s, WHITE MAN] sitting opposite each other on an obviously uncomfortable date.

 

NATHAN

I can’t understand why you’d take her side here.

 

JEANETTE

I’m not taking anyone’s side, I just think it’s kind of unfair-

 

NATHAN

Sure. She gets all the raises and promotions but I’m the one being unfair.

 

JEANETTE

But you said she laid a lot of the groundwork with the client that-

 

NATHAN

Groundwork isn’t closing, and closing is all that matters.

 

JEANETTE

Look, let’s just drop it. I don’t even know your boss, not like I can really weigh in on the office politics of it all without-

 

NATHAN

You don’t have to know her to believe me when I tell you she slept her way up. How else can you even explain it?

 

JEANETTE

I don’t know. Maybe the board preferred her management style.

 

NATHAN

And maybe you don’t know how the world works, sweet thing.

 

JEANETTE

I know this date is over.

 

JEANETTE backs up her chair and rises to leave.

 

NATHAN

And I know you’re at least twenty pounds heavier than your profile picture.

 

JEANETTE dumps a tumbler of water in his lap and walks through the MAIN ROOM and out. NATHAN storms past the lady innkeeper, [THERESA, 60s, BLACK WOMAN] and her large pet IGUANA and heads upstairs. The camera sweeps around the rest of the ground floor of the small inn filled with objects of distinction and the occasional exotic animal, some alive, some skeletal or taxidermied. A growled shout is heard from upstairs.

 

NATHAN

(offscreen, presumably leaning half out of the bathroom door)

And now, for a wonderful end to my evening, there’s NO HOT WATER! This place is a dump.

 

The door slams and plaster dust sprinkles down onto THERESA’s head. She stands with a less than tolerant smile and buckles a toolbelt she’s taken from inside her desk around her waist. She dons a headlamp flashlight and opens the door leading down into the basement. The camera follows her down to a cobwebby and terrifying old space containing an ancient looking boiler where she starts banging on pipes and turning valves, seemingly at random. A low chittering/scratching [SPIDER NOISE] starts and gets louder as the camera rises through the floors past PETE still working in the DINING AREA, past YNW1 and YNW2 making out in front of the fireplace in their room and up into NATHAN’s room just in time to see NATHAN yanked out through the window by a menacing shadow. He barely has time for a short scream.

 

CUT TO BLACK


 

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